Sunday, March 24, 2013

“You Can Expect Something and Still Be Knocked Off Your Feet When It Happens”


It’s true, you can. So and so said that in a recent episode of Bones. ;)

About a month after our perfect wedding, I woke up one morning still thinking about the dream I’d just experienced. In my dream I was holding a beautiful baby girl and dream-me loved her so much. When I woke up it stung. My arms felt empty. I told JJ and he was all “really…” with his “woohoo!!!! she’s baby hungry!” face.

It wasn’t a prophecy, nor was it a premonition or a sign from God. It was just a dream. Having that dream just changed me is all—it changed my mind.

So our little baby is due October 13, 2013.

We always refer to “it” as “she” because we are very optimistic about this.
(Though there is room in our hearts for a little baby boy too… I don’t know nothin’ bout boys.)

Oh yeah, there is definitely only one baby in there.
(Thank the stinkin’ stars!!)

I’m feeling 1,011 different emotions at any given moment of any given day. They are these: Amazed, ecstatic, wonder, excitement, worry, sheepish(honeymoon baby;), inadequate, young, unprepared, ignorant, and straight-up-hair-raising-fear. The other thousand emotions are indescribable—there are not words for those but they are real.


I. Read. Too. Much.
Every time I read about a birth defect, labor complications, or any of the what-could-go-wrongs—I shake. It’s not a “Can someone close that window?” shake. It’s a scared-to-death kind of shake. I have a complex where I NEED to know what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. Surprises are not okay. They’re just not. Is there a phobia for that? I just pray, and pray, and pray some more that I can have a healthy baby. I will love an imperfect baby too. I just want him/her to be okay. Though “okay” is slightly ambiguous.



All of my friends who are having babies are all “look at this miracle!” and “I can not wait!” and “look how yummy this food is.” While I’m all “food is death.” and “Please stay in there until I know how to be a mom.” and “what on this pretty earth is a…” :)

I’m not pessimistic and worrisome about everything. This little baby is going to be well loved. JJ and I have a lot of love to give. Baby is going to be showered with books. We will read to him/her at every possible moment—what a lucky baby in my book. ;)

I can already smell baby’s head. You know that smell, don’t you? I can also already feel baby’s soft skin, and round belly. I hope baby has JJ’s dimples—they’re breath stopping. I want to hear the little giggles. I cannot contain myself; I need to hold this baby!

In JJ's words.

Close to a couple of months after getting married to the most amazing girl ever, we received some life changing news.  It started with Nichole telling me about a dream she had of us having a little girl.  I liked the sound of it, I couldn’t help but picture how cute the kid would be considering how pretty her mom is!  A couple of weeks later we noticed Nichole wasn’t feeling very good. With that and some other signs, we decided to check it out.  Sure enough, she was pregnant!  That was exciting news that I was ecstatic about. 
This last month and a half has been a lot of adjustment making for Nichole and I.  With me changing my major from Computer Engineering to pre-law;  Nichole fighting with pregnancy sickness, us trying to plan for our child, and on top of all that Nichole and I trying to keep her pregnancy on the down low for the first little while--it has been fun.  While it’s been an interesting ride so far, it’s also been exciting.  I can’t wait for October 13th!

Our testimony of families.
All in all, we can say with absolute certainty that this won't be easy. We're not all that simple-minded. We are going to enjoy every single growing experience we can get out of this--because it is a gift from our Father in heaven. We are grateful that we will get to be stewards over one of His spirit children and for the opportunity we have to be a part of His most important plan--the family. We have firm and unshakeable testimonies that families are of God. Not only are they of Him, but they are central to His plan for each of us. When our little one comes, we find comfort in knowing that we will all get to be together for an eternity of progressing and perfecting.


To know more about families:
http://mormon.org/family